the perfect 100miler...

well.. well.. little miss procrastinator. I just watched a great TED talk by Vik Nithy on the topic..  nearly 7 weeks ago I ran for my first American 100 mile Buckle.. it was bEAUtiful and I had the perfect 100 mile race.  A perfect 100mile.. is there such a thing? I finished in 20hr45mins and i sprinted the finish... I felt good with my efforts.. haha.. that's not to say I didn't encounter my challenges.. I certainly experience a couple of super scary, getting lost in the middle of Duck knows where moments with no living soul in sight for miles.  :((... mommie!

Race morning.  I'm comfortably warm, standing watching DAwn lift.  Myself, and my aMAZing (bright, caring, motivating, and logistically there every step of the way, well.. at least, always in spirit :)  CRew are all very happy.  I have a great gut feeling about today; I'm going to race for my first ever 100mile belt buckle.. What a RAd reward!  and Nina Simone said it best.. I'm feeling GOod!   

 I stand around for a good 30minutes shooting the cheetos with some of my favorite faces.  Neil and I chat about our 24hr finish, we're two of the biggest sandbaggers out there, as we both finished closer to the 20hr mark (Neil just under 20..AMAZING!).. haha, so never ask me 'in what time' will I be running the race.. I'm always wrong.

I see 'Moe the Eagle', UltraMarathoning legend. 'Moe, your advice is my race strategy, I'm going to finish strong!'.  Moe a few years back had told me to walk all the hills in a 100miler if I wanted to finish strong, he was right.

Perhaps walking all the hills seems a little extreme.. after all, this is a race, however the advice has strong foundation.  Never push into your heart rate threshold zone, meaning for the entire duration of a 100miler, its a wise idea to never push over 80% effort... the higher you push, the harder it is for the body to recover, which starts to really become apparent after the first 50miles.  *more heartrate rambles.. as the body pushes its capabilities, internal systems begin to shut down to direct more of the energy needed for the immediate task at hand (pushing to survive, or at least that's what the body thinks in competitive mode).  In past races, when I've had digestion or stomach issues, gut rot (food not digesting, creating internal pains) it had everything to do with me pushing too hard for too long and shutting down my digestive system.. this race I had none of that, I ran a strong race from start to finish with NO stomach issues and I ate everything ..even cheese pizza... and YES.. I walked (hiked with intent) EVERY hill.

So here I am, power hiking all the hills, with almost 18 000ft of up and equal down, my race is feeling way too easy.  I'm in great spirits, smiling, laughing, high-fiving passing runners on the out-and-back. I'm alternating between two water bottles filled with whatever random electrolyte tab thrown in there.. even threw in a Starbucks VIA ice coffee packet in my bottle at one point ...yum, that warmed my heart!

I recall around mile 70 hitting this long stretch of gorgeous, sandy single track.  It was so dark and moonlit.  A talented, fast fellow that i was running with told me to take the lead down (which was fantastic as i dislike following other runner's headlamps) and we spent the next few miles completely absorbed in our fast-flowing movement as we owned the singletrack, the highlight of the entire course by far, I felt like a Cheetah.. wildly chasing and playing on a warm summer night.

I went into this 100miler as a physical test, how efficient is my current body at running such a distance.  Mentally, I knew I could run a strong 100, although this was officially my first '100mile Race' and training hadn't yet begun for the season, I was going into it with no extra special training.. just what I was recreationally doing, which scared me a little..however, I knew, the distance was more mental.. and in my heart, Ive always been able to run that distance.

My strategy.. walk all the hills, take deep, long breaths when any tension arose.  Eat 200-300 calories per hour, fill up my bottles at every aid station, thank all the volunteers and most importantly... SMILE! ..ohhh and run as fast as i could (under 80%).

 Perhaps I waited so long to recap this event because, to me, right now.. it is not a main event (nonetheless an INCREDIBLE Personal achievment).. it was simply a test, almost like an entrance exam (a hundred miles of meditation) into the next chapter of my Life.  Tomorrow, I head down south for 26 days of intensive Yoga teacher training.  I'm bringing another personal passion into my career life... I'm going to bring Yoga to us 'Runners' and it's gonna FEEL GOOD!

Orcas Island.. a gem.

Orcas 50km trail map!! Awesome route!

Orcas 50km.  The peRRrrrrfect race.. warm, Spring weather, sun, dry trails, great people, amazing food and a weekend Cabin Camp trip. ..SooO what gave?
..i remember feeling excited. then sick.. then home... What happened to the weekend?!
.
..Id LOVE to retell an epic weekend tale... however, goes more like this.
Went out at a good, steady turnover pace. feeling good. climb. climb. and climb some more. Near the top, I was feeling winded, uneasy.
Top.
Beautiful downhill.  Stiffening up.
Meanwhile, all I'm eating are these Hammer Perpetuem tabs that honestly, resemble a compressed powder Hamster salt wheel..
By the time 15miles rolled around my Lymphatic system had kicked in,
my hips..swollen,
my chest, under my arms swollen..
my neck and under my chin, swollen,
the body was fighting me back.
mile 19.. DEATH MARCH. i need to stop.
My body is seriously pissed off at me, I'm in the most uncomfortable pain and it's all self-inflicted.  mile 20. aid station.  i see Leeann.  collapse on the warm sunny ground. i start to hyperventilate... no need. not today.
..."one minute, just give me a minute.." i tell, whoever is talking to me, half delirious.
I needed to breathe,  this was not a normal reaction for my body, it was telling me to stop, shutting me down one system at a time.  Something big went wrong.

Great friends, great laughs

Right there, without a second thought, I pulled myself out of the race.  It had been an absolutely beautiful day, the first sunny day in what seemed like months.  The trails were crazy beautiful, smooth single/double track. Sun. Shade. Breeze.  I was happy.
There was a great energy in the Camp and all the people there.  Shared in some very impressive accomplishments of others.  Laughed.  Cried.  Drank Pabst. 
I had the opportunity to share some real special conversations with old and new friends.. I ate the BEST PIZZA in the WOrld.  mMmmm....

come January 1st, 2014... im sitting there, waiting to register for next year :))






..

february babbles..

babbles help me think.  There's too many things happening in this little emotional, passionate head of mine. it runs a solid 100miles per hour.. i drink coffee to slow it down.
here's the big question..
how and where will I make a difference?

It has been my question for months.  Where do i find purpose, how will i choose to live my Life, where will i pour my passion and heart, where will i make my contributions.

It seems that everything is aiming me towards... people!...  share the love, the excitement of adventure and challenge.. the potential for personal growth. help people grow. offer what i know and do so well.

I no longer wish to follow a traditional path, consistency and routine drive me nuts.  I need to embrace that I LOVE variety and risk, challenge and adversity.  So then, how will I create a Life around the things that I love, the things that I love to do.. the ones that i'm really good at doing.

My mental is run down, and so i stupidly push my physical.. I need to reconnect with purpose.  I need to start taking better care of myself so that I can fully take care of others.  I need to revisit my goals.

I send my Love to all the local Van kids, TEAM Going Coastal (Gemma, Marissa, Graham, Pavel, Tony, Tam, Shawn) racing in this years Coastal Challenge, a 230km, 6 day, foot race across Costa Rican rainforest.  A race so very close to my heart... mostly for the beautiful connections that I made with its people and land over the last three years.  This year, I stay home, in Canada.  I watch each day unfold, feeling extremely excited for the challenges I know everyone is facing and that I know everyone is capable of achieving.  I sit Inspired.

a place of early morning reflections.

a fresh perspective.

It's hard to write after weeks and weeks of silence.

Where to begin, my world has gone around 44 times since.

I am no where near the person I was back in October.

Shed layers of pain and insecurity in December,

and awoke with lOve in January.

Today is a new day.

It's the start of a New Year, a new Era, and i am discovering a New ME.

Life is Good.

Training is aWEsome!

i can see myself from the outside.  Now the work begins.

How strong can we build ourselves to be. 
i am strong,

..most days, because i am human.

i am determined, persistent and optimistic

because i was taught to live that way.

i am cool, because i can proudly recycle my 1990's bodybuilder hoodie. ha.

It's time to PUMP YOU UP.. Im taking control of things around here and making drastic changes,
in hopes of making greater changes in my Life and those of others.

 

stay tuned... 

The acceptance of Whistler 50.

Six weeks ago, i started writing... i couldn't

Four weeks ago i wrote this.  ..i still stumble to finish.
..i need to let this go.

nov 4, 2012.
this following blogpost has become.. an acceptance of failure. ..yiKEs!  i feel like i'm being ridiculously hard on myself yet it's well deserved..  plain and simple, i let myself down.
It's like facing that serious 'i messed up' conversation with the ones you love..
A friend asked, "Jude, you're not writing.. what's going on?"

Arggg.. I don't know, i'm unfocused, i'm run down.

i've had a long season of injury and confusion.. my little hated voice inside.. says, "this season really sucked, why did i have to go rip up a hip muscle, you wasted your time, you should have asked for help".  The more positive voice tells me, "eh.. relax, in the big picture your mostly healthy and generally happy, you live in a great place surrounded by great people.. it's about the journey and i have an entire Life to live.. learn and move on.  Truely, i should look forward to a few months of rest, recovery, base building and portfolio making... refocusing in on life".
So.. what did happen in Whistler a few short weeks ago...
...
..Whistler 50 miler is one of those ultras that you love to hate (a harsh lesson with a hard impact. ha.. pun intended.. to ultramarathoners, asphalt is death to unseasoned legs.. We love the soft, technical ground of the mountains, the forests, and the beaches.  The high steps, and the low, the jumps and bounds of the trails. .. Whistler 50 is none of that.. and so it really should get special attention.  Four x20km loops of mostly snow and slush covered asphalt and hard frozen dirt packed service roads were the brutal conditions.
.. there's just no other way to say it, my physical body was not ready to pump out that fast mileage.. this sadly being a very low volume year for me. and then the cold ..
. ..cRiPpling cold.. death.. i fear cold.
.
..2:12am.
               ..i drop my head to the left, look through a slice in the curtain.. it looks dark . and cold. ..my heart wants to stop in fear, in pain... i tense, my fingers turn to ice. i don't want the cold..
"Please don't be cold". i scream silently.. there's an anxiety building..

4:30am -the 'old phone alarm' on the iphone ..goes off signaling a wake up call.  i guess i could have turned it off hours ago.  ..mur.
..I'm frozen in bed.. holding heat. it's time but i'm not excited.  I'm not ready.

In what feels like slow motion.. i get up.
"juDe.. have you look out the window this morning?"
Of course, i've been staring out the window all night..
slightly on edge, i reply, "yah.. looks really cold!".
i sense his playful laughter... "juDe, come look out the window."
My worst fear confirmed, wet, frozen, cold snow...
(i'm putting on another layer simply writing this)

I stand frozen, in front of my kit.. what first.  My exo shorts, underwear.. wait.. underwear first then shorts, calves (no pants in case i overheat... HA! as if?!), yellow exo top, toque... hmmm.. perhaps a long sleep merino as well, then a fastwing windshell... headlamp.  I try and choke down some granola and greek yogurt and a quick cup of joe.  We set off walking to the race, we're to meet inside the Brewhouse.. awesome and warm!  However, right now.. I'm so nervous, so anxious ...i'm sweating... it's freezing.. oh no
..i hate the cold   ..mommie!! :((..

finish line Whistler50

...thats where it ends.. the story changes.  I ran the race under trained and it showed, the result of a less then ideal running season.  I ran the race to get a time goal and I missed my goal by just over 1.5hr (miss..ha! i was never in the game).  Realistically, perhaps its more an opportunity to recreate my goals.  On the flip, I did finish the crippling, cold 50 miles [I HATE COLD].. I didn't quit and on that day, that was a hUGe accomplishment of its own as my finish line photo demonstrates.  :))

What a tough, learning season.  I fell short of my goals and mistreated my body.. in hind sight, I should have asked for professional help and constructed a proper rehab for the tendon/muscle hip issue... arrrggg.. funny... I've always believed i wasn't afraid of anything, but honestly (except cable cars).. I have a veRrrry strong adversity to doctors, therapist, dentist... i really dislike seeing them.. most often others make my appointments or drag me in to see someone.. Im not sure I accept help very easily.. hahaa perhaps just the stubborn Taurus in me.  I like solving problems myself.

so many lessons to learn.. Ultras have become my life's mental training ground.  there are no ceilings in the Ultra world, I can accomplish so much more then I have.. and that thrills me. 

Killian in Slow Motion..

Cold mornings and Autumn commutes.

Salomon Swift Midlayer, 3/4 trail tight, XT running top,
237ml soft flask and knit toque

Our mornings are getting chilly.. temps are dropping to just above freezing and my fingers are numb.  Im still running in 3/4 tights and a sweat wicking jersey... i have now just started also throwing on a light fleece (Swift Midlayer) with thumb loops, finger pockets and mesh underarms, conveniently enough, I have also enough outer pockets to throw in the iPhone, a spare gel and a small 8oz water tube... and a toque for good luck.

As the inevitable will happen.. the rain will start and I will have to start to then think about staying dry and locking in more heat..I'll soon start running with a light rain shell, the XT WP II to be exact, weighing in less than 245g, its a simple, striped down shell that keeps water out and core heat in.

Advanced Skin 10+3.. BEST all-around running pack

Now, if hard shells aren't your style, Salomon has also put a few softshells in their line.. These are also waterproof soft fabrics that perform perfectly in the rain or the sun (hardshells tend to be a little less comfortable in sunny or hot weather, however the hardshell face fabric will dry much quicker in case of a storm or really bad/extreme weather and will be much smaller and lighter).

"So Jude..if you run to work.. are you hanging out all day in your stinky, sweaty running clothes?"

Nope, absolutely not..  I bring along my pack.  Salomon Advanced Skin pack are WICKED GOOD for commuting or adventuring.  They come in 3 size capacity, the first 3L makes for a stellar 50km race pack.. the other two, the 10+3 and the 14+3, that's 10 litres capacity plus a zip that opens up another 3 liters, and 14+3 for the larger are perfect for self-supported endevours. 

The 10+3 will fit a pair of shoes, clothes for 2-3 work days, wallet, iphone, loads of snacks, 2 water bottle and a 1.5L bladder (I like to leave the bladder out and run with two 500ml bottles that tuck into large side mesh pockets.  The pack, even loaded super heavy, runs extremely stable. 

I have used this pack for all my races (and adventures, mostly adventures) over 50kms this season as it does pack incredibly well, and moves utterly smooth, no bounce just balance. It has adjustable shoulder straps so one size adjust to all.  It sits high and solidly around the rib cage so not to inhabit movement of the torso, which is awesome for climbing... oh and imagine that, it doubles as a bike pack too :)) nice, slim and comfortable.

OHhh and.. the fabric absorbs little to no water, so it's perfect in wet conditions (even emergency river crossings.. 20mins later there's no trace of a wet pack).  Now pair that with an Ultralite dry sac for your clothes and gear.. and BAM.. your set.. dry and comfortable.

Cold mornings, bad weather.. wet weather.. can be good :)) and fun. ..really!?    well... at least comfortable.

i LOVE my bicyclette.

My bicyclette is really my best friend.. This one in particular, my Kona Smoke has been with me for at least a good solid 6 years.  It has regularly commuted 80kms per day/4 days a week for years until I started switching out some of that cycling for running which is around that time in my life that I decided to get into the world of UltraMarathoning... I already ran the mileage so why not?!

Now, I commute to/from work, these days from Vancouver through Stanley Park, across the Lions Gate and into West Vancouver. She still gets on average 150kms per week.

However, I'm very sad.  I feel I have completely outgrown my bicyclette.. Its tiny 26"wheels are very slow, the brake is always stuck on dragging.  I pedal my little heart out in my two hardest gears (of which i have 21)... ALL THE TIME.. and I can't pedal downhill because my gears are maxed out.. I have outgrown my bike, however I feel it has made me a better athlete...

..Let me explain - I work that bike hard.  I ride it with a stuck brake (extra resistense).  I weigh it down with fenders, bike locks, bells and other extras, all added weight makes me push harder.  I have shoe baskets, which i adore, lets me ride my bicyclette to the trail head with my trail shoes already on yet incresing my riding efficiency.  I also have handlebar shifters, which are rad, I narrow in my grip, hold onto the shifter mechanism (right under shoulders) very lightly without overgripping (overgripping would change gears), therefore i get to work on my form, power more from my core.  I also hover off my seat for the most part as the anatomy of the bike is way off.  My favorite to do is actually to get behind and start following the fancy cyclists that ride around Stanley Park with their $10 000 bikes and try to keep up to them, which physically I do for the most part (unless they're actually Elites and not just guys and gals with fancy bicyclettes).  :)) okay.. that last one is just fun.

5Peaks Buntzen Lake photgraph by Robert Shaer.



Three months with very little running, you'd think you'd grow weak, however my bike has kept me strong and has helped recover my injuries.  My legs, as a matter of fact, have never felt stronger.  Im feeling like I could fall short in the endurance game, however in the sprint distance, I have good, solid power (especially on the technical up/down). 

Which reminds me...I'm pretty darn proud to say that... I WON
1st Female in this years 2012 Salomon 5Peaks Enduro Series.  It certainly wasn't my best season, having spent more then three months with hip injuries, however I manage to podium all four of the 5Peaks that I raced which in turn rewarded me with the highest overall female performance of the year :)) (based on a points accumulation system)

5Peaks was my start into the trail running world... 5 years ago, I was running the back of the pack.. I had dreams of one day being strong enough to take a spot on the podium and this year I took the Series, Im told I should be very proud and ... I am.  That's a hUGe leap from where I began... and all it took was the genuine belief that I can live a life with no ceilings, a journey where growth is accomplishment. ..funny i never did athletics growing up, except rugby in my teen/young adult years, where I Captained for four of those years.  I could focus on the game enough to excel, which gave me strength to lead others.. to teach others.. to keep trying.
..i probably would have loved playing more, Life was crazy.. xcountry running would have changed my world... no one i knew growing up ever ran, up into my twenties..
So.. YEs!  i am proud that i have come thus far :)

Next year however, I hope to feel stronger and faster.  Huge Kudos to everyone for a well ran 5Peaks season.  It's always SAd to see Buntzen Lake come and go.. it's the end of 5Peak friends till next May, when we start it all over again.  Big HUge Thanks to Kathryn and her incredible Team & Volunteers that make this Series happen... and all the RUnners who love to share the trails in fun, friendly competition. .. The LOVE of 5Peaks is all about the gREat trails and it's crazy Cool People.

OHhh, I also broke my toe about two weeks ago.  Good thing it's my middle toe and that i tend not to use it too much in my stride..haha.  Barcelona, heels and running on beaches late at night drinking wine don't go very well with accident-prone running girls  :))

a shift in Seasons.. a shift of change.

This is LOVe.. Just above Chamonix France.. the trails are plentiful and I'm suPEr excited, however teased :((.. with no time to explore. I stood there, within meters of endless kilometers of 100s of year old trail, all with their very own path, direction and journey, which would not be played with by me (not today)...how very sad.

I left off about three weeks ago...
The fourth 5Peaks race had just finished in Whistler BC; it was my first healthy race back since the 'BMO half'.  I felt fantastic, back on track.  Strong.  I felt happy for the restraint and love (which was an awful struggle) that I had shown myself in the last three months.  Recovery was my main focus and I was doing good..

..The following weekend was 'MYM 50' (Meet Your Maker 50mile also in Whistler). I was invited to run a relay with the Salomon Flight Crew.  Really excited with the opportunity to run alongside a team, i immediately replied 'SUre, I'd love to! any leg, any distance'.
Now, this race was divided into 7 legs ~(1-flat 10km, 2-up/down 22km, 3-up 10km, 4-down 8km, 5-flattish 12km, 6-flattish 9km, 7-very flat 10km).  I ended up running legs 2 & 3, and then since i had completed soOO MUch flippin' uphill.. i wanted some down, pass on my baton and strolled down Whistler Mountain for 8 beautiful kms (of steep, fast downhill, wahoo!).. found a lake, dipped my legs and returned to the finish to eat and cheer on the remaining runners :)) WHat a day!  What a TEam!  A pleasure to run with the Salomon folk and a solid 50km training day.
..WHY?! have I never ran in Whistler before :)) (2hrs from home) the trails were beautiful.. awesome and smooth, a real pleasure (adventure) to run.

After a great weekend running and socializing, I hopped onto a plane to Europe :)) My first time over seas.  A good friend had a week long (mostly guided) trip to Barcelona all set up and organized, and after a little reorganizing of my own life i decided to join him.. ha, however only if we could make a side trip to Annecy France and we did.  Annecy France is Salomon's home, where the brand was created and loved and since I work for Salomon, helping to run their showroom boutique and aspiring to run for their international Trail Team, I was thrilled that this opportunity came up.  We had manged to hook up with one of the footwear managers in the design center where i was able to see and chitchat about the footwear creating and testing process.  (I also had a sneak peak of the up and coming trail shoes.. wOW!)  Huge thanks :))  It's a pleasure to see the value of a brand through its creators.

WAhooo!..I also managed to get out on one gorgeous trail run, high above Lac Annecy, a ~16km ish point to point trail.. it was heaven.. France was heaven, everything from the French tongue (in which i spoke solely for the first 7 yrs of life), the croissants, the trails and mountains.. the people, their love of coffee and wine and its true what they say, the wine is cheaper then water; i had picked up a bottle in a grocery store for 2euros (CAN~$ 2.40) :)).

Funny enough, i ran into dozens of hikers, yet not a single runner, i was expecting the opposite, nonetheless, this run was by far the highlight of my first taste of Europe.

So many trails.. so much adventure.

After this, my traveling colleague and i hopped a series of trains heading down to Barcelona Spain in celebration of his business accomplishment.. I was now along for the ride, taking it all in.

The next 6 days really blew me away.  I was out of my element (on the edge of constant anxiety attacks, which I managed to control), with folks that i had very little in common with... and so i thought.  I was at a conference created to inspire and congratulate the hard work these selected folks had done in the past 18months.  Every morning there was a panel of incredibly successful individuals speaking about their work, their passion for their work, the lives they touched and their recipes for success.  The first morning, a very respected speaker made reference to his drive compared to that of an elite athlete and something clicked, it made sense.  I spent the week listening to others stories of failure and success, everyone so unique, so individual, so many inspiring stories.  I think I'll have to write an entire entry of what i learned that week.. but mostly what I picked up from it was that those most successful, influential in their fields are those with the most obsessive passion for what they do, for what they love to do.

Gorgeous, rocky, mountain trail.

Now I am home, I feel lost.. where am i, what am i doing here, whats my next step.
Life moves at warp speed, we slow and we're wasting time. We search for that ideal destination to varying degrees.. some for challenge, adventure, some for peace or wealth, knowledge, happiness ..
I think most importantly we have to stop searching for that final destination, for the happy place because happiness is all around us, its really what we do with our present time that matters.  We affect the world with our actions today, and they count as much as our actions will tomorrow.

So next up, for me... counting down the weeks and training my speedy legs for Whistler50, where I hope to get a Personal best and make the cut for next Year's Canadian National 50mile trail team, the race to be in Whales mid July... will my legs be recovered and trained enough to pull the numbers i want?  Only hard work, determination and positive attitude will tell.

The video below is beautiful thank you Darcy Turenne and Team for sharing it.

*lightbulb./ all this time. it was my iliopsoas..

  This read was AWESOME.. as this is very much what has been happening to my body.  I came across this site accidentally and suddenly my whole world made sense.  :))) A direct quote from Strongerruner.com.   
  'One key area where runners often develop problems is around the hips, where muscle imbalances can lead to a host of problems, such as hamstring strains and hip pain. Fortunately, a few key strengthening exercises, described below, will help address the underlying problems.
    Muscle imbalances can be defined as differences in muscle length or muscle strength between opposing muscles or between the same muscles on opposite sides of the body. Runners typically develop weak gluteus maximus (buttocks) and iliopsoas muscles (deep hip flexors), while two superficial hip flexors (tensor fascia lata and the rectus femoris) and the hamstring muscle groups become strong and quite dominant. Stronger and tighter hip flexors also alter the pelvic alignment leading to anterior (forward) pelvic tilt, exacerbating the problem of dormant gluteals. These muscle imbalances result in movement impairments and altered joint motion at the hip. This phenomenon is known as gluteal amnesia, and can result in hamstring strains and other hip problems.' (Read the full article here)

baCK into it.

   What does it take someone to truly excel.. surpass expectations, smash records.. accomplish the impossible... it's heart, love for what you do.  I think you, they have to truly LOVE what they do.  Perhaps we don't love it all, but there's always that one thing that makes us pump.  It's about the journey.
   I felt that this weekend, i felt love, love for the art of movement however not without the struggle of suffering. 

Add caption

   My legs felt fantastic (except fot the uphill... lol, which was 3/4 of it). This was the first run out in nearly three months that i was completely pain free in my hip.  I wanted to run.. to race, show myself what i was still made of, however knew that i shouldn't be pushing hard (wouldn't want to re injure) therefore ..not racing.  :(  i started myself in the second wave chitchatting with a friend.
   The race got on its way.. beautiful Whistler alpine trails.. and i found a comfortable pace right away.  Within 500m the uphill began and there were heaps of people funneling onto an uphill singletrack.. i knew i had to start weaving myself through the crowd or I'd be hiking right off the bat.. so hop, skip..and off i went.  relentless uphill, climbing endlessly around 8,000ft elevation.. haha.. that's huge for me!.. i spend my entire months, weeks, days at sea level and rarely hit over 4,500ft.. my lungs were on FiRe!! They were burning, gasping for oxygen..  It was so hard to breathe on that uphill.  I pushed on, remembered to calm my breathing and focus on pumping my muscles... little steps, light on the feet..up and up.  .

Insert strength here.

and then the down... oHhhh sweet honey!  Love the magic of the downhill glide.  The muscles fire complete opposite, your front body get the chance to open up, stretch, the lungs get an enormous refill of oxygen.. doesn't get any better then the downhill.. ahhhh!  ...that, unfortunately, came to a raging halt!||||||||||| 
   As myself and a group of quicker paced runners made our way through the singletrack, we all encounter a fellow who refuses to let anyone pass.  I am third in line, I watch them all try to pass, using appropriate trail racing etiquette.. the fellow retaliates.
   My turn comes, I wait until we're in an open meadow (yet very sensitive environment, so it is advised to stay on designated trail, these are high traffic areas.. makes perfect sense, the path is about two-three feet wide.
   'On your left".  No answer, just a slight block. 'On your left Monsieur!'.. he throws his shoulder into a definite block as he hears me a approach.  Huh?! Pardon.. why is this man not letting me pass, he's obviously very slow and cautions on the downs, i am not.. i want to run, not jog behind him.

   'Excuse me Monsieur, I'd like to pass you so that i can continue running the downhill, would you please let me pass?'  I'm starting to get a little hot here.. this is not a full contact sport, this isn't rugby.. I refuse to push my way through!!!  After numerous tries to get pass him AND my explanation of sensitive alpine terrain.. the guy was really starting to get my goat. 

  'Look Monsieur!  I'm not racing YOu, I'm racing this mountain'.. he cuts me off, 'the HELL YOU ARE!'.  ... really?!?  now my blood's boiling, the French girl temper is coming out and so is more uphill.. What's the big deal, at this point he was fighting me for a spot in the 90's maybe even 100's.  I accidentally let slip that he shouldn't act like such a *ick.. realizing how awful, hot-headed and unsportsmanlike i was feeling towards him, I decide to retreat back.. My heartrate was quite elevated because of the confrontation, I decide it best to give him a 100m or so to climb alone.. and well of course.. what goes up must come down. 

   By the time we reach the top, a good friend had caught up to me (Bremner, the Blueberry Man), he was so refreshing to run with, took my mind away from all that negative energy.  We chatted as we past the awful man, he let Bremner go.. I had to aggressively hopped through and over a large boulder obstacle, made my own side path as he grumbled some comment about my stupidity in running trail..
   and he's.. GONE!  I almost let the encounter (what felt like 20mins) ruin my race, i was so on edge about the whole experience that I'd forgotten what i was doing and how good it felt...
  ..aHhhhh.. but wait.. the downhill continues.. glide.. smooth, hop..hop.. react.. feels like I'm floating, close my eyes.. feel the ground.. scree.. dirt singletrack and boulder fields... open air intertwined with small shady, treed oasis... ahhhhh! 
   The rest of the run really brought back the essence of why i run.. it was such a great place to be, a great energy, gorgeous trails..  My lungs hurt and my love tank was full :))  The second half of the race was mostly downhill so i managed to pretty easily gain ground... unaware of what I'd really just accomplished I came strolling in 2nd woman overall.. which i found to be quite rewarding.. I had come into this race with so little confidence; I was practically always hobbling around nursing a wounded hip.. and now I had just completed a fast 11km technical mountain run PAIN FREE, body pain that is.. my mind suffered.. my lungs suffered :))

Next up... While many friends are racing the beautiful and ultimate UTMB,  I'll be joining the Salomon crew in Whistler to relay run 'MeetYourMaker 50mile'.  I'm really excited about this race, sad to not be prepared to run the 50mile option however thrilled to be a part of its first year.  I'll be running two crazy aggressive, technical uphill legs (2,3 +reward myself with also running the downhill leg 4 back down to the village).
   I'm really hoping to spend a few days this week hiking up there, getting used to the air, the heat, gaining confidence on the terrain.. however a last minute change of plans might have shifted my entire week...  WOot woot.. oHhh beautiful summer months.. how I missed thee... but now I'm back and this next month promises me a loads of adventure and travel... and possibly a second go at a racing season. WOot woot!

Adventures through the eyes of a lens.

This is me.. how i am this week.  I am not sad, not happy.. not fast, nor lazy.  I am not injured yet no where near 100%.
I am not a professional photographer however i adore making beautiful things.
 ..
i bring my camera.

Arc'teryx's Squamish 50 went incredibly well (for most, i did notice a few not so good days).. its first year in running and in my and the communities eyes, a huge success... Well done Geoff and Gary!! woot woot (and of course the countless, AWESOME, volunteers, sponsors and runners that made it all happen).  These are some of the photos i took (while still grounded from racing) to capture the spirit of the trail community.  Below are three of the top runners, however so many more.  Check out the rest of the photos on Flickr ...here.

Adam Campbell [Arc'teryx/Salomon,] 21km winner 

Ellie Greenwood [Montrail],  Women's 50mile winner

Jason Loutitt,  Mens 50mile winner

aid station food, yum!  however- Styrofoam really?!

foOD... mMmmm, and still recovery.

the BLueberry SMOothie..

1/2 - 3/4 cup juice, PREmium yummy Blueberry, organic juice (Bremners is my local favorite).
1cup  Greek yogurt (at 18grms protein per/ser and good bacteria, it should be %2-3 fat, fat is good, %0 is yuk.. gross!).
*for super recovery - 3/4 - 1cup coconut milk.
(or 2 tbsp Udo Oil works as well)
1 scoop of a 'isolate' (vanilla) whey protein.
1frozen banana (makes it of a creamy consistency).

A huge hurdle for me has always been eating consistently.. Im always all over the place. Proteins, carbs ..fats, hydration.. it all depends on mood really, which i don't believe is the best nutritional solution?
.. and i lOVe variety!
Lunch today was an iced Americano and this wiCKed Peach Prosciutto, goat cheese pizza.. yUMmmm! (with a side Kale/quinoa beet salad.. the food bar at Whole Foods is ridiculous)
really!?!  Who thinks of this stuff.. brilliance!
.
...
Update on the injury... muscles are weak, quad is much smaller then the right.. things in left hip, still quite off.. weak :((
.i've yet to seek any medical opinion...hmmm? this morning, i realized that i'm overwhelmed with opinions.. everyone seems to have their own extremes and i don't feel like anyone really sees the whole picture. ..and now.. i seem to have lost my own common sense.
... i feel like EVERYTHING would be okay if i was simply told..'There's only one way to do this.  Here it is.  Do this and done.  fini.!'..
... .ha haha.. that's sounds ridiculOus!  There's never ONE solution to a problem.. there's just waAAy too many variables. ..but wouldn't it be nice.
I've slipped off the 'ice bath' kick again :(((.. it's soooOO cold!   ..i hate the cold. i took one today. first this week.  ohhh JUde.. why fear what is most good?!?

What hAppens when the body won't run..

The hip is hurt.  It slowed me down.  I still had fun ..however very little mountain love and I'm all bottled with energy.  I want to run.. I want to Adventure.  Im not sure why I feel the drive, I'm not sure where I'm meant to be.  I know I can't sit still... .I won't sit still.
My down time, for the most part, lacked that certain 'je ne sais quoi?' ..sweat, salt and heart however proved to be incredibly needed and beneficial.   A blessing, a time to let the body and mind grow; to catch up with the last six months of change, and to plan a little of what is to come.  With so many possibilities, it seems hard to focus on one thing at a time... I've always been a big picture thinker.  Running affords me the time to relax.  When I'm pumping it out hard, I'm not thinking of the big picture.. I'm not thinking of the hamster wheel of 'to dos'.. .I'm simply in the moment, one step at a time.. and i like that, i miss that.  ..and I'm ready to get that back.
So, how have i been keeping my lOVE TAnk full in these tough times?  It was fairly easy actually, I attended a few races..AWESOME!  I actually attended my very first Kneeknacker.  Not too sure how i missed this GEM, the most notorious 24yrs old race in my very own backyard.. it was truely a very well done event;  there was a lot of work and love put into it by soOO many organizers, racers, volunteers and the local community

Kneeknacker 2012 - Flickr Photos here.

So my first Kneeknaker and i bring out my big camera for some race day action... So many Happy People. Everyone so unique and individual, all with their very own story.  Unfortunately my skills with my camera are not as good as my love of the art.. nonetheless, I managed to capture a real essence for the race and its people.  I got a preview of a bunch of this next years Spring Salomon lineup... veRRrrrry cool technology and innovation.. can't wait to try some of this gear (ohhhh baby.. why do i love the (gear) so.?).  Chatted with some great characters (racers, supporters, friends and figures) and had the pleasure of watching phenomenal talent pumping it all out on what is said to be 'one of the gnarliest 50km races in the world'.  It was a great day enjoyed with my camera on the side line..
..
I also attended this year, wiLD edition of 5Peaks Cypress (as a non-racer).. where fog, rain and mud dominated the atmosphere.  We arrived super early to help with the race setup...(what an operation! ..tent setup, tables, booths, registration area and kits, start/finish line, flagging, speakers/sound, water and electrolyte coolers, aid stations.. oh and the organizing the volunteers, this is a huge setup and what a great team they have to make it all happen.  As it turns out, i did run. ..for one HUGE km.  I rabbited the childrens challenge.. i ran, they chased. Haha ha.. and MAN..were they ever quick, kids have one speed... and that's SPRINT, almost was passed by a small boy in a red shirt, whose Mother (total hockey mom) pointed at me, 'You see her, chase her.. beat her!'.  Yikes!! ....ruUUUUNnn!!

Terry Bremner 'the Blueberry Man' running
a strong Kneeknacker.

After a great morning on the mountain, I headed down to the Delta flats to join in the Blueberry Summer festival down at the Bremners farm, Wellbrook Winery.  Live music, pie eating contest, local organic grower, farmers market, classic car show, bbq.. it was a GREAT event.. and as an added bonus, i learn tons about bee pollination (random and awesome).  I hung out with Mr. Blueberry and then happily headed over to the ferry terminal in hopes of running the Juan de Fuca trail.. my first adventure in a while.
...
3 am... beep beeep BEEEP, time to get up and get on the road to the trailhead.  Friends getting together as a Movementx100 event to help a great friend push her potential.  Im thrilled to say she did just that, she's an incredibly inspiring and beautiful human being.  Her story here.

The adventure went really well.  Our bodies held up.. MY BODY held up, wahoo!  However i did manage to run straight into a branch that was sticking out of the mud.. the branch didn't move and as a result, i had immediate bruising, but hey.. it took my mind off of my other leg. OUCH!!

BOy.. am i ever ready to start pushing my training again, to have a goal, to push towards.  Next on my adventure list... Pacing a friend for FatDog.. Whistler 5Peaks and the ultimate 50.. Meet Your Maker, happening September 1st & 2nd in beautiful Whistler.
... and then, a quick trip to Europe to explore and expand my own possibilities :)))

....So what else have I been up too?  here's a small preview.

painting, a tree in the Crowsnest.

ice baths - the loneliest place on earth

Fun with the little Man.

Athlete's Fuel :))

Hanging out with the Blueberry

Catching up on electrolytes.

Juan de Fuca trail, 47kms one way.  Trails the Pacific Ocean, on and off the beach and wet coastal trails.

Another lesson.. there's simply no better way to look at it.

The hot 39 degrees (102F) Leg 3... crueling.

Everything that came with me (and in dropbags) except my shoes.

 Well... I went very well prepared.. except for the injury, I really thought it had disappeared... or perhaps hoped that it had.   I had my hydration dialed, my fuel strategically planned out, my clothes, pack and lighting system, I had my elevation map all printed out with details of the course... i was on fire and i was ready to push hard.
Fuel:
- 4 high calorie boost shakes for major TAs
- 15 servings of CarboPro/gaterade mix
- eload electrolyte tabs
- 6 honey beestinger waffles
- 14 Vanilla Cliff gels
- butter croissants & dehydrated Pep sticks
- Bremners Blueberry juice (for night running, at 130 calories per cup, it makes a super fuel)
Gear:
- Salomon SkinPro 10+3
- 2 generic soft 21oz bike bottles
- Salomon Exo SLab II shorts (Mens xs)
- Exo IV calves & Exo pro Socks
- Salomon Trail Runner II tank and zip Tee
- Yellow Salomon Fast Wing hoodie (modified and resewn men's small to fit my tiny body and 1/2 zip)
- Icebreaker 150 ultralite LS Atlas long sleeve wool
- toque & Billabong Free & Wild technical trucker hat
- buff.. to keep wet and cool
- Black Diamond Sprinter headlamp and Filzer handheld
- Suunto Ambit (GPS)
- Filzer happy Chamois Cream (for dry feet and sweaty areas that are irritated by excessive salty sweat)
- small bottle of spray sunscreen

   Pre race meeting had great food, yummy spaghetti followed by an entertainingly funny and witty presentation then a talk on wildlife safety... this is the BEST organized race I've ever attended (of course there's always a few hiccups on race day, but these guys are PRO).

Crazies and crew.

   I had driven out with friends, another AWESOME crazy solo runner and his crew lady, they made my weekend RAD, some of the best company ever.  I was thrilled to have found an equally crazy, passionate runner with the wickedest sense of humor; my gut still hurts from all the laughing and witty joke telling we shared.

  So Saturday morning, 7am off we went. I was running on an injured ITBand (pulled a month earlier and not fully recovered).  It was silly really, i should have stayed out of this one, but I wanted to run my sub 19hour (without running Leg 3 twice like in 2010).  My spirits were high, I knew I had the strength to pump that out.  I was taking it nice and easy for the first half and then as the sun was to go down I would change gears and pump the rest to a wicked fast finish.. that's how I'd envisioned it.. I believed that i could, having ran a 23hr finish as my first real ultra in 2010, with very, very little training and a 2.5hr detour.  I knew I had quickened and transformed enough to run a sub 19... but unfortunately my body didn't want to be tested.  I hadn't imagine I'd be injured going into it, I denied it, I hated myself for becoming injured.  I still do.
Race starts.  Leg 1..good, stiff.  Leg 2.. good, getting hot (36c).  Leg 3.. okay just couldn't ignore the pain zipping from my obliques down to my calf (temps now up to 39c (102F) and to make matter worst, I start gushing blood (totally unexpected).. please someone rip out my ovaries.. I don't need them, tagged down first aid for a piece of gauze, yah really! That wasn't the worst, from there, the glands inside my thighs were just swelling up by the minute, restricting blood and oxygen to my legs.  My body was fighting me back on this one, no way no how, i wasn't getting off easy.. I wish i could say that I pushed through however i didn't.  I failed to see reason in it.  If i injured further and upped my recovery (2, 4 or worst 6 months) it would once again compensate my training and i have BIG THINGS planned for this next year.  I had raced my last three races (Elk/Beaver, 5Peaks, STP) and Sinister7 injured and that was demoralizing, to preform at half potential, to hobble to the finish, to compensate form and speed.

I wanted to race to race, to push, to test, to on that day, become the best version of myself... but not in exchange for the long term health of my body.  It is so young and mold-able.. it just needs time to grow properly, slowly.
   67kms in, the end of the third leg.. I run in with this charming Edmonton fellow (most beautiful calves i ever seen), we exchange stories and he ends up shinning a little clarity  to my mind.  I have big goals to accomplish and i must be smart and know when to stop, when its simply not necessary to push, when its unkind to my body to push.  I think my ego is probably the biggest culprit, its most wounded (which is silly and a problem)... some things really got to me, some things made me want to push for the wrong reasons.. example: the women standing behind me at TA4 making bets on whos dropping off at this leg, the people discussing my dropping, believing that it was due to going out to hard (completely unaware of the actual situation), the man who tells me its easy to win a race when only 3 women finish (nevermind being 9th overall, there seems to have been little accomplishment in that to him), also the nagging voices of past loved ones telling me i'll never be good enough, to quit dreaming, the ones who believe my running to be childish and trivial.. grow up and quit living... Baahhh.. sometimes i simply push to shut those voices out, to prove those judgmental people wrong... to inspire those who believe in dreams.. i run because i believe it will make me stronger in my life, stronger to push through the challenges life will throw at me and stronger to contribute to the outside..

Strong like a Bison.. which reminds me.. i saw my first ones this weekend... kind of adorable in their own way.  The babies were hopping and  frolicking.


And that's that.. Sinister has passed and now i look up, clean off my shoes and conjure up my next adventure..